Be Kind Rewind

 

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I used to always wonder, "When did I become the adult?" Hell I still ponder this at times even though I am 40. But this week I have found myself asking, "When did I become the MOM of ADULTS?!" Holy shit when did this happen? I feel like yesterday I was telling my mom "You just don't understand!" and now my kids are telling me "You don't understand our generation!" Umm okay. Well shit heads, I created your generation so I think I might understand a little bit of it. I mean except for the Kylie Jenner lip challenges and eating the tide pods craziness--that weird shit was all you all. 

You all listen to our music, wear our clothes, get weird shit pierced--you are just recreating my child hood and adding dumb shit along the way like heely's and twerking. I start singing along to music that was ripped off from my childhood and they ask, how do you know this song? Well fart fanoogin, you stole it from us and put a beat to the back of it or changed a few words. Seriously, last night while looking at nose rings with my son (cause his generation get their nose pierced mom! well before you were even a sperm I had my tongue pierced. anyways) I referenced a Rammstein song that was from my teen years that I listened to, and this son of mine says, "Mom, how do you know that song?" I said, "Uhh cause tell me who it's by," and he couldn't. My daughter tells me I don't how hard school is--umm it is still a prison they send kids too only you get devices, lots of devices. I had an encyclopedia and a pencil sharper that put real bruises on my hand. If I wanted to know something I had to know the Dewy Decimal System and I had to remember that shit after I read it--there was no googling it later. Not to mention, I also had to carry books and use my locker. I HAD TO REMEMBER PHONE NUMBERS AND FIND A PHONE TO CALL IT ON! 

They will never know the agony of standing in line or calling the radio station over and over, trying to get concert tickets. The only refresh button we had was, "Can you save my spot? I really gotta pee," and hope the person let you back in line. They will never go through the utter disappointment of calling Block Buster to reserve a movie just to get there and find out they gave it away, or your parents had to sign for it, or ohhh or they said you didn't return a movie that your almost certain, kinda think you might have so you can't rent with out paying a million dollars and returning the lost movie. I used to rent a Nintendo for the weekend from Block Buster just to play as much as I could on a 13 inch box tv that shut itself off right when you almost beat the game. WE HAD TO SIT THROUGH COMERCIALS, OR RUN TO THE BATHROOM AS FAST WE COULD DURING THEM. There was no skipping or pausing our shows and if you missed a week, WELL FUCKITY FUCK FUCK, you better hope Jennifer can tell me what happened cause Luke and Brenda were really almost on again or off again. For my kids who didn't get that reference, that was the hot couple from 90210 that was on every girls beach towel EVER. 

And they think it was SO devastating when One Direction split up. Well trying being a 10 year old girl who had every New Kids On the Block RECORD (that you couldn't dance to cause it would skip) and every New Kids on the Block doll and the damn beach towel in March of 1991. Yes, I remember vividly when Donnie Wahlberg caught that hotel on fire. Then being that same little girl who was so heart broken over it that she set up a New Kids on the Block sale in her garage and then no one shows up to buy a damn thing--guess they heard about the fire also. I LIVED THROUGH THE DEATH OF 2PAC AND KURT COBAIN! 

So the other day I took my 2 kids and my 15 year old niece out to eat and the waiter asked how to split the check up. That was a first for me. It has always been assumed that they were kids and I was paying, but he just saw a table of adults. It hit me kinda hard in the heart. Anyways, I paid the check and we got in the car and jammed out to some music I don't remember but is the sound track to their life, but ONE DAY they will be telling some pesky kids some lame stories about how hard it was when they were a kid and none of this really matters.